How Do I Handle a Difficult Wife?

handling difficult womanWhat else does a woman want? “I just bought her a car, did the registration in her name and paid six-month salary to a driver who takes her everywhere. Before this, she gets a monthly allowance of N10,000 (that’s not the housekeeping allowance, which is N40,000 per month). I get her clothes and jewellery anytime I travel or from mobile merchants in my office. But, kike is never pleased,” stated Jude, 38 and father of three.

“She is one of the nastiest women on earth. She is so ungrateful and never sees any good in whatever I do. The only moment she is nice is when I give her money or a gift. She would nag about imaginary women I date, coupled with her hostility to my family members. Meanwhile, her family enjoys much largesse from me, especially her ailing mother, who lives with us. To Kike, I have strings ladies, who I spend so much on. She even believes my mother and sisters are planning to make me marry another woman just because all her four children are girls.

“Let me confess that I don’t have any concubine and she has never caught me with any woman. As a matter of fact, neither my mother nor any of my sisters ever talked to me about my daughters, who they adore. She is never satisfied and I come home daily to face her caustic tongue. Lately, my friends have started introducing some nice ladies to me and I am considering one of them for an affair. I know I would get the happiness I am looking for in her.”

Greg is under fire at home. “I am always scared to go home after work,” he confessed. He said that his 11-year-old marriage is equal to living in hell. “My wife exhibits some traits that I don’t know how to describe. She could be happy this moment and be nice to everyone around her. The next moment, she would be fuming and ready to break anybody’s head, including mine. Her children are so scared of her and prefer playing with me to her. Last week, she took me up on a telephone call I received from a friend in Lagos. We live in Imo State and I travel to Lagos to buy my goods. My wife believes my friend is a womanizer and exposes me to concubines whenever I am in Lagos. While throwing banters on the phone with my friend, she kept hissing and cursing, but I ignored her. By the time I was through with the call, her voice was louder; she fumed and called him on the phone to steer clear of me! The situation is so terrible that I don’t have who to report her to, as her mother is worse and has transverse five marriages. ‘My daughter is no trouble-maker; go and change your ways,’ she always tells me anytime I talk to her about my wife. There are no uncles to go to because they are all afraid of my mother-in-law. So, I am stuck with a monster at home. The only nice moment together we are in bed and that is within 30minutes!”

how to handle a difficult wife“My wife is so troublesome that I am ashamed to go out with her,” said Levi, 39, a businessman and a part-time pastor. Not a member of his church visits him at home. “She would always send them away with her bad behavior and there are some women she had beaten up just because she thought I was sleeping with them. She is so unfriendly and nasty for a pastor’s wife that I have stopped introducing myself as a pastor. Last year, during my ordination, I had to beg her parents to help convince her to attend. Her reason? She married a businessman and not a pastor! She knew her non attendance would be a stain on my ministry and I had to beg her (even my friends and relatives) for many weeks before she agreed. Now, I can’t divorce her because I am a pastor but I am tired of her ways, what do I do?”

Rubbing minds: Living with a troublesome woman could be likened to living in hell – there is no peace. As a result of this, some marriages have crashed, some shaky and many trying to tolerate one another. Not a few researchers wonder why some good men get bad wives, but the fact is someone somewhere is married to a bad woman and is searching for a way out. What to do? Be patient and tolerant, especially when she is in her mood. Carefully study her mood and talk to her at her ‘best moments.’ Though some men have sought divorce and opted out of the marriage, or are separated from their spouses, there is need to consider the children before taking such decisions.

This piece is culled from the Punch and written by Kemi Ashefon


  1. Smart Aigbuza says:

    While you will continue to tolerate for a change in future. threaten her for a divoce if she refused to change. let her know those things she is doing you don’t like which she may not know. i really sympatised with you.


  3. LEAVE HER, AND DON’T CHEAT ON HER THAT WILL MAKE YOU WORSE THAN HER.Get OUT WHY you still have time to have some fun in life.

  4. A.M Onuism says:

    A woman was sent away from the paradise bcos of her disobedent 2 God.there are product of disobedent so i think he should be careful with her.

  5. me too sailing on on the same boat with my 6 year old son and my in-laws are not giving parental advices and my father-in-law was ready to brake our marriage infact, he doesn’t care about his own daughter’s future and son-in-law’s future infact i do think a lot about my son’s future that he shouldn’t live without his parents but his grandpa is not bother about anything. anyways give some some advice let see how it works.

  6. syed jaffar says:

    I have been married for 8 yrs and there is a good age difference of 12 yrs between me and my wife. Before marriage I had girl friends in Ukraine, but after marriage Im committed to my family. Just for fun once I had a bad chat with one online girl and my wife she came to know about it. I promised her that i wont do again and I didnt do it as i kept my word. She feel very insecure about me, thousands times I assured her that Iam not gonna leave her and told her i will be by her side till I die, but its all in vain she doesnt trust me at all I never cheated on her and i will never do. She feels that what ever I do i do wrong. I have applied for the Immigration of Canada she says she does not like it and iam doing unnecessary. I have 3 sisters they like me OK but they dont like my wife and they alwayz taunt her but my wife doesnt reply them but she screws me by saying that UR SISTERS are so bad. She dont like them and she want me to promise her that I will never go to my sisters house. There are certain people in our society whom I dont like. She mentions the name of one guy whom I dont like and says he is much better than me. Iam really fed up. Thousand times I told her and even requested her to be happy and make me happy. But she is always complaining of something or the other. Oh God Help Me …….

  7. Having a nagging wife is the worst thing and if not properly handled can make one commit suicide. Nevertheless if there are no children it is advisable to pull out but if otherwise, patient and love for the children may go a long way to resolve the issue.

  8. I am presently dying in silence. I feel depressed always and am only in it because of the 2 Kids I have. She’s unfriendly and always arrogant. I am presently seeing a single girl that gives me peace and that’s all a man needs.

  9. She needs help and you can only help by not being confrontational. Try let her take a lead in some issues and she will give you peace. You can’t change her just manage her.Divorse or threat of it is not an option.

  10. I am dying of stress, my wife despises me and does nt respect me because i am struggling financially. i could not complete college because of lack of finances my father died after i finished high school. i come from a single mother family and she is poor.

    although i pay rent and provide throiugh my side hustles , she compares me with her friends who drive big cars and calls me a failure who made her suffer.
    I cannot tell her anything, she fights me and puts me down in front of my children.
    she tells her brothers who are are older and better off financially bad things about me and they are now against me…
    i’m so distressed.

  11. I have been married for 9 years.i have two regret about my life, it’s seems like I’m a failure because I’m a jobless person,beside that my wife make me no peace at all because financially problem, she blamed me always,i don’t understand,

  12. My wife and I have been married for a decade and half. Before we married, I have had a failed marriage as a result of the failure which I don’t want to experience again, l am seriously in torment. After my first marriage failed, l became so wayward and consequently had two children outside wedlock. My past failure has become an instrument of touting me by present wife. She suspects every movement I make and told with her own mouth that she would not live to die in my house. Infact, she is he’ll to me because of nagging. I have developed HBP as a result, and despite my state of health, she is everyday becoming worse. I suspect she will be happy if l am dead. I am so afraid of eating her food or sleep well as l suspect she could kill anytime soon. What do l do? We have kids inbetween us.

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